Being Headless

When I teach, I work with something I call “third space.” Third space is that creative place of openness, when new possibilities have space to come in. But in order to get to third space, I have to take off the “expert” cap and simply be present and open to what wants to happen. When I try to control or “be the expert,” I lose third space. What happens when we exert our authority, either through maintaining strict control, or being the only one in the room who knows anything, is that we create a polarized situation—-us against the students.

We will not reach third space when there’s a strong polarity–meaning the teacher/leader/instructor is heavily invested in either their own expertise or maintaining control and authority. No matter how much of an expert we are, we need to be “learners” when we teach–holding what we know in one hand, holding the other hand empty. You could call this being “headless.” If you can’t do your work when you’re headless, it’s probably not your right work.

At the time I wrote Getting Messy, my experience creating third space in group settings was new and experimental, but since that time I have come across Adolg Guggenbuhl’s wonderful book Power in the Helping Professions, in which he discusses something very similar. Guggenbuhl, a Jungian psychiatrist, does not use the term “third space,” but he does detail how those in the helping profession create polarities with clients, students, the elderly, and so on when they take the role of “knower.” He calls the polarization a “split archetype.” In Guggenbuhl’s view, as soon as we know what’s best for our patient (or mother, father, student, friend, lover), we have split the archetype. One of us is all-knowing and all-powerful, and the other is ignorant, neurotic and powerless. In such a situation, no healing or creativity has the space to occur, because the interaction is now about the polarity. Emilie Conrad, the founder of a bodywork method called Continuum calls this model the dominator model: “I will do this to you.” Unfortunately, in educational settings, the dominator model is what is typically expected. But the dominator model can happen in any situation in which a power imbalance exists–health care, government, and so forth…