The magic of support groups: Helping others to help yourself

In the past couple of months, I’ve started three support groups, and honestly, they’ve been a game-changer. Two are work-related, focused on marketing and book promotion. The third is a small group of friends where we cheer each other on in our creative endeavors—committing to daily writing and weekly artist dates.

All three have been amazing, fun, and surprisingly instructive. What I’m learning is this: the best way to help myself is by helping others. It feels good, it’s more enjoyable, and best of all—it works!

When I tell my group I’m going to do something, I actually do it. Accountability is powerful. But beyond that, these groups remind me that I’m not alone. Whenever I support someone else, I’m really supporting myself, too. It makes me wonder—why did I ever try to slog through challenges by myself? There’s a better way, and it’s about community.

Anne Lamott captures this beautifully in her book Bird by Bird. She describes how a group of her former writing students turned into something much more:

“They’ve gone from being four tense, slightly conceited, lonely people who wanted to write to one of those weird little families we fashion out of whoever’s around us. They’re very tender with one another. They all look a lot less slick and cool than they did when they were in my class, because helping each other has made their hearts get bigger. A big heart is both a clunky and a delicate thing; it doesn’t protect itself and it doesn’t hide. It stands out, like a baby’s fontanel, where you can see the soul pulse through. You can see this pulse in them now.”

Isn’t that gorgeous? “Helping each other has made their hearts get bigger.” I don’t know if my own heart has grown bigger yet, but I’d like to think so.

If you’ve been struggling with a project, a goal, or even just life in general, maybe it’s time to gather a group of your own. Whether it’s for accountability, creativity, or just moral support, working together is a reminder that we’re all in this together—and that’s a pretty beautiful thing.